A note: I did not write this review. Or rather, I did not write the foundation for this review. In fact, I stole the template from one of Roger Ebert’s reviews, played a merry game of mad-libs, added a few sentences, took out a few sentences, and ended up with this. Anyone who can guess the movie in which I derived this review gets brownie points. So, I guess I wrote this to make a point. Read on after the jump to see whether I actually made any points or whether I wasted my time:

“Madoka” isn’t your father’s version of a magical girl anime anymore. Akiyuki Shinbo’s “Puella Magi Madoka Magica” is a haunted anime that leaps beyond its origins and becomes an engrossing tragedy. It creates characters we come to care about. That’s because of the performances, because of the direction, because of the writing, and because of the superlative technical quality of the entire production. This anime, and to a lesser degree “Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha” (also a Shinbo-directed work), redefine the possibilities of the “magical girl anime.”

“Madoka” is not a simplistic tale of good girls who choose to gain magical powers to fight evil. The girls are good, yes, the witches are evil, yes. But “Madoka” poses a more complex puzzle than usual: The witches’ ability to bring death and despair to the citizens of Madoka’s hometown requires someone to step up to eradicate the threat. But is it worth sacrificing your mortal soul for all this? Enter Kyuubei, the cute mascot-like character who is more than a villain. He’s a Mephistopheles whose lack of empathy and amoral outlook pose dilemmas for all would-be magical girls, especially when many aren’t told of the risks and are too innocent to ask for the fine print.

The key performance in the anime is by Emiri Katou, as Kyuubei. Her rendition draws power from her matter-of-fact delivery. Though Kyuubei lacks the malice of “Bokurano’s” Koemushi, it is precisely the way Kyuubei’s lines are spoken that make the character more despicable. At least Koemushi was being purposefully cruel and even if we cannot condone such behavior, it’s not outside of our experience. Kyuubei’s actions fall outside the scope of what we’re used to as he takes a Machiavellian stance towards what must be done for the good of the universe. In short, he’s a sociopath’s sociopath. Throughout the anime, he continually nudges the girls to enter in the contract without a care for their fates, enticing them with the fulfillment of a wish as a reward. This Faustian bargain effectively threatens the whole moral foundation of the magical girl genre.

Because these characters and the situations they find themselves in are so powerful, and because the anime does not allow its spectacular visual effects to upstage the narrative, we’re surprised how deeply the drama affects us. Eri Kitamura does an especially good job as Sayaka Miki, whose character is transformed by a simple wish into a bitter monster. The same can be said for Yuko Goto’s performance as Madoka’s mother, who dispenses with sage advice when called for, but who begins fretting for her daughter towards the end of the series. And let us not forget Kyoko’s final prayer. It is customary in an anime to maintain a certain knowing distance from the action, to view everything through a sophisticated screen. “Madoka” slips around those defenses and engages us.

Yes, the visual effects are extraordinary. They focus on the expected explosions and catastrophes, and have some superb, elaborate depictions of a descent into madness. The setting in which “Madoka” takes place is a wilderness of skyscrapers and unfinished construction sites that carry a hint of danger in their unbuilt state. Especially noteworthy are the alternate witch dimensions that seem like they were taken from Salvador Dali’s surrealist landscapes and Edvard Munch’s “The Scream.” It is through these worlds that the characters fight in and, ultimately, die in.

The plot involves nothing more or less than a girl’s attempt to save her friend from a horrible fate. Kyuubei’s deceit, combined with a tragic series of events, is what sets this all in motion to begin with. The twists and turns that come along are complex, with all credit going to Gen Urobuchi’s screenplay, which has more depth and poetry than we might have expected.

Shinbo also directed the previous, and excellent, “Le Portrait de Petite Cossette,” which explored the darkest corridors of the human psyche. Now, Shinbo has taken his experience from “Cossette” and materialized them into “Madoka’s” cruel twists. There are a series of flashbacks and time-jumps that make us realize that this conflict is borne by children who have fallen victim to cruelty — they compensate by trying to do good and fulfill their wishes, but when the final revelations come forth, all that’s left is despair. If they didn’t understand it then, they sure as hell do now.

Something fundamental seems to be happening with magical girl anime as a whole. “Cardcaptor Sakura” may have defined the classical high point of the traditional magical girl anime. A show like “Nanoha” allows its director to combine the excellent battle scenes typical of shounen series with the magical girl genre to bring to the attention of a male audience. But now, “Madoka” moves the genre into deeper waters. They realize, as some anime viewers instinctively do, that these stories touch on deep fears, traumas, fantasies and hopes. And this reinvention of the magical girl genre is the most fruitful one for exploration.

In “Puella Magi Madoka Magica,” Akiyuki Shinbo has freed the magical girl character to be a canvas for a broader scope of human emotion. For all the magical girls in “Madoka” face deeply troubling decisions, let there be no doubt, and if ever the despair begins piling on, it would not surprise me the extent of the harm these characters are capable of inflicting upon one another.

UPDATE: Shinmaru was able to figure out that it was Ebert’s review of Nolan’s “The Dark Knight” and has won the nerdy brownie points advertised earlier.

• zzeroparticle reads Kimaguresan – creep
• omo reads Impz – durrrrrrrrr
• ghostlightning reads 21stcenturydigitalboy – wheeeeeee… aboo + happy, desu ne
• 21stcenturydigitalboy reads glothelegend – I’m an aniblog reader from hell
• Calaggie reads lelangir (pending)
• Cuchlann reads Sorrow-kun –
• Sorrow-kun reads TheBigN – smarmy Aussie
• kimaguresan reads ghostlightning – T’was a dark and stormy rabu rabu night…
• TheBigN reads Calaggie – promo voice bordering on the Spoken Word
• Impz reads Omisyth (technically not up yet) – It’s a TRAAAAAAP!!!!
• glo reads omo – drunk Frenchie.

A few interesting comments that I picked up on:

• gaguri: “I have come to realise that some bloggers have great writing skills, but no one has a good actual speaking voice…” via twitter.
• Elineas: “After listening to most of these readings I have come to the conclusion that blog posts are in a kind of limbo between colloquial speech and formal writing, which gives it some weird quality of sounding completely absurd when spoken as an entire piece even when many sentences in isolation only sound proper in dialogue.” here.

People slated to be *smug*ed! Now get yourself off this ignominious list. >:[

• Pontifus
• Omisyth
• lelangir

I think a few of you are waiting for your victims to post it, so if that’s the case, let me know.  I am merciful after all.

My random number generator turned up the following:

So here are the assignments [Reader - Victim]:

• zzeroparticle – kimaguresan – Kimaguresan’s road to nowhere or Kimagure’s Anime Blog
• omo – Impz – THAT Anime Blog
• Pontifus – Cuchlann – Cuchlann or Super Fanicom or Scathbad’s Training
• ghostlightning – 21stcenturydigitalboy – Fuzakenna! or Euphoric Field (OH GOD!!! XD)
• 21stcenturydigitalboy – glothelegend – Eye Sedso
• calaggie – lelangir – THAT Anime Blog or Super Fanicom or ???
• Cuchlann – Sorrow-kun – Behind the Nihon Review
• Sorrow-kun – TheBigN – Drastic My Anime Blog
• Omisyth – zzeroparticle – Anime Instrumentality or Behind the Nihon Review
• kimaguresan – ghostlightning – We Remember Love
• Impz – Omisyth – Grand Punk Railroad
• TheBigN – calaggie – Nigorimasen!
• lelangir – Pontifus – Pontifus&! or Super Fanicom
• glothelegend – omo – Omonomono

Hopefully you guys know how to get in touch with one another and if you don’t, just let me know!

Phase 3: YOU SHALL…

• strive to pick one of said blogger’s first ten posts. The key word here is “strive.” If none of the first ten posts can be mined for comedy, you may instead choose from the author’s different posts.

The prior rules post has been edited to reflect this.

Participants (so far) [Blogger - blog(s)]

• zzeroparticle – Anime Instrumentality or Behind the Nihon Review
• omo – Omonomono
• Pontifus – Pontifus&! or Super Fanicom
• ghostlightning – We Remember Love
• 21stcenturydigitalboy – Fuzakenna! or Euphoric Field
• calaggie – Nigorimasen!
• Cuchlann – Cuchlann or Super Fanicom or Scathbad’s Training
• Sorrow-kun – Behind the Nihon Review
• Omisyth – Grand Punk Railroad
• kimaguresan – Kimaguresan’s road to nowhere or Kimagure’s Anime Blog
• Impz – THAT Anime Blog
• TheBigN – Drastic My Anime Blog
• lelangir – THAT Anime Blog or Super Fanicom or ???
• glothelegend – Eye Sedso

For current participants, if you want to restrict the reading down to one blog, do let me know. I just opted to cast a wide net in terms what ya’ll have written.

Add your name to this awesome list of folks.  After tomorrow, my magic random generator will determine whose post you get to mangle!

Improvement. Now that’s something that most of us have experienced and when we look back on our early posts, it’s amazing how unrefined our thought processes were. Sure, we might want to bury that stuff in some deep pit, but at the very core, that progression is all a part of us, warts and all. And this is what this event is all about. Read on to find out more!

That’s right. This plan is all about exploring the past.  It’s something Pontifus and I cooked up. Here’s the gist of it:

Phase 1: YOU…

• write for an anime blog
• have written at least 20 posts
• don’t mind being embarrassed
• are willing and are capable of making an audio recording of yourself reading someone else’s post! (This is IMPORTANT!)
• can adhere to simple instructions (This is even MORE IMPORTANT!)

If you meet the criteria and are willing to sign up for this, just drop a comment stating your interest!

Phase 2: I will then

• randomly throw all the names into a pot
• select a blogger whose post will be subject to your verbal mangling

Phase 3: YOU…

• will search through the posts that the blogger in question has written
• will strive to pick one of said blogger’s first ten posts. The key word here is “strive.” If none of the first ten posts can be mined for comedy, you may instead choose from the author’s different posts.
• will record an audio clip of yourself reading said post aloud
• can choose to put it in video format if you want
• will then send the audio file or a link of it to the victim and the victim will post it to their own blog
• will post someone’s reading of your early post on your blog when they send you the file. Don’t like the fact that they read your post using a Ben Stein monotone? Too bad.

OTHER THINGS:

• You must read word for word what the post says. No more, no less.
• You may not add words that aren’t there.  If the blogger wrote “I her horns” you shall read it as “I her horns.”
• The manner in which you choose to read the post is up to you.  Want to read it using your Donald Duck impression? Go for it!  Squeak like Aki Toyosaki singing “GO GO MANIAC”? Feel free!

Looks simple, IS simple. Feel free to sign up. I’ll keep signups open until the 24th of May, giving you all two weeks to decide whether or not you want in. Do let others know of this event, spread the word, and if we get enough people interested, we’ll move on to Phase 2 and 3.

If any questions or clarifications are needed, be sure to let me know. Until then, indicate your interest by commenting!

UPDATE 1: Do we want to open it to all posts? First 10 posts? I’m seeing a lot of clamor for either of those two options. Maybe we just want to make this a general reading rather than specifically dwelling on the past. I’m open to that!

UPDATE 2: Made changes to the 5-earliest posts rule.

I’ll have to find some way to lower the CPU usage to less than 2%. I have installed a Hyper Cache plugin, but so far, that hasn’t lowered the usage enough (managed to bring it down to 3.5%, but that’s still too high for LunarPages). So now, I’m left with some possibilities:

1. Disable some of Anime Instrumentality’s features in an attempt at lowering the CPU usage some more and hope that this works.
2. Upgrade to a private server (which is ludicrously expensive)
3. Find myself a new host or share it with other people (like dasaku or kokidokom).

Preferably, the least headache-prone path is to stick to my current service but that’s looking extremely unlikely. All I can say is that given that Anime Instrumentality only generates in the ballpark of 400 hits per day, the CPU usage shouldn’t be as problematic as it has been. If anyone can offer any solutions, please do since I’m kind of at wits end here (after dealing with this problem for about a week now).